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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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But then, outta nowhere, one of the kids kicks the ball too hard, and it smashes into a car parked on the side of the road. Oh man, the owner comes out, and he’s NOT happy. He’s yelling at the kids, and I’m just standing there, cringing. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a dent! Chill!” But nope, he’s going off. I’m thinking, “This is why we can’t have nice things!”

The joint project Arna-Stanghelle